So basically,

It’s so frustrating when people are so willing to say “I give up on humanity” as a...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 19:26:39 -0700

It’s so frustrating when people are so willing to say “I give up on humanity” as a result of the Boston explosions.

Giving up on humanity only adds fuel to this raging fire of violence.

Dove hired a forensic artist to draw how women see themselves...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 19:19:57 -0700

Dove hired a forensic artist to draw how women see themselves versus how others see them - the results are moving.

Every day I lean more and more towards taking a gap year. I just want to travel the world before I...

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 01:22:16 -0800

Every day I lean more and more towards taking a gap year. I just want to travel the world before I have to care about med school and actual life.

2012 post

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 02:06:12 -0800

No one bothers to really blog on Tumblr anymore, but at this time of the year I like to get really nostalgic and look through my archives. I’ve had a tumblr since my freshman year, and can remember my thoughts whenever I posted some melodramatic rant about some insignificant high school revelation.

But here’s to 2012, and to reminiscing on by far the craziest year of my life so far… and of course it’s only the beginning.

In the beginning of 2012, I was the epitome of apprehensive. I mean, I was with Kyle for a couple of months by January, we did spend New Years together… but I was still timid, honestly looking back for no type of reason. It only took me until February to publicly admit to being in a relationship with this guy I’ve been seeing since Halloween.

Winter Percussion, finally after 4 years, wasn’t the center of my high school career… it kind of sucks that it took so long for me to learn how to balance it with my relationships and academics. I’m forever grateful for the people it brought me and for the experiences I’ve shared with them, but I’ve also learned that it’s all stayed behind in high school. And I’m completely fine with that.

March came around, and decisions were sort of just made for arbitrary reasons (at the time). I got into my top 3 schools, which was sort of difficult because I could honestly still to this day see myself at any of them. With my knowledge now, UCSB still wins for reasons I can’t really explain.

Graduation came and went, but afterward was a summer I’ll never forget. I didn’t do anything extravagant really, well I guess you could count going to Disneyworld… but over summer I fell in love… hard. How close I got to Kyle redefined love for a partner completely for me. So telling him for the first time that I love him 5 days before I knew we had to break up was probably the oddest emotion I’ve ever felt.

I’ll admit now, that break up was rough, but I accepted it. I was completely aware that we both needed time to just do our thing, without the ties and obligations whether we wanted to or not. It was extremely tough, but after everything in between there wasn’t a doubt that the only person I want to be with is Kyle. When we realized that being together is just natural, and the distance is worth the effort is when everything fell in to place. I’m more confident in us every day, but without a doubt 2013 is only going to throw more obstacles at us and we’re going to conquer all of them.

The first two weeks of college was just absolute bliss, it was new and exciting and adventurous. The next two weeks were absolute hell. Missing home, missing comforts, missing everything familiar. The next few weeks consisted of trying to find what you want, and if that meant breaking hearts (yours included) then so be it. And I did, and as much as I hate that period, I’m more confident than ever in where I’m headed because of it. Now, everything is finding its place. I’m getting into the groove of the things, and I didn’t do bad at all for my first quarter of college.

2012 was the year of new beginnings, of getting out of my comfort zone, and of acceptance. Here’s to 2013, my year to be confident in myself, in my education, in my relationships, and everything in between.

Photo

Fri, 23 Nov 2012 22:33:14 -0800

I’m such a lucky girl. For the past year, I’ve gone...

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 22:09:00 -0800

I’m such a lucky girl.

For the past year, I’ve gone on an adventure with this boy. I can’t believe it’s been a year. A year of ambiguity and absolute solidity. A year of timidness and acceptance.

Now, it’s just pure confidence and support. I can’t wait to go on more adventures together, exploring what college, the world, and life has to offer us… overcoming circumstances and obstacles one step at a time.

College

Thu, 08 Nov 2012 08:35:54 -0800

I love everything about this place. I love the girls on my floor. I love the weather. I love NOT having to sit in a classroom for 6 hours straight. I love the weekends. I love the beach. I love the beautiful people. I seriously love everything.

96% on both my Fem and Dance midterm, so I’m rewarding myself by saying a big fat “Peace Out” to Santa Barbara this weekend. I’m not as pumped about my dance grade, because literally every answer on the midterm was “all of the above” and the two questions I missed were probably the ones were I didn’t choose that. But whatever, I’m proud that I just might not get on academic probation my first quarter here at UCSB. SUCK IT HATERSSSS.

As much as I love it here, I absolutely cannot wait to be in norcal this weekend. The culture and the overall vibe is just completely different from here, it’s home. Granted I am going to San Francisco, which in itself has a culture incomparable to anywhere else, but it’s still norcal and I won’t be burned at the stake for saying “hella”. I need a break from this place, because honestly, it’s never good to have too much of a ~~good~~ amazing thing. Aaaand it’s true, I’m burnt out. Recovering from Halloween and Midterms is just impossible to do, so thank you life for this three day weekend. Thank you for giving me a weekend to get my mind off the shit-show called my life here in SB. Thank you for giving me an escape in San Francisco.

Never thought I would need an escape from paradise, especially to a place completely opposite from my new home.

College dude. Wake up, class, eat, study, class, study, homework, eat, homework, lab, homework, sleep. And repeat till the weekend, and wait for havoc.

Ok. I’m leaving for Santa Barbara in 45 minutes. I haven’t changed out of my pj’s...

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 06:23:55 -0700

Ok. I’m leaving for Santa Barbara in 45 minutes. I haven’t changed out of my pj’s and I’m still sitting in bed. I thought I would be more excited, but honestly I’m freaking the fuck out. Mostly because I almost to forgot my pants, until I walked by a big ass bag and was like “what the hell is in here?” after we packed up the car… Like, what else am I going to forget?

I just really love my bed.

Sacramento, you will be missed. I’m glad we got closer...

Fri, 14 Sep 2012 00:27:00 -0700

Sacramento, you will be missed. I’m glad we got closer this year, especially since Elk Grove is dead past 7 o’clock because everything gets shut down. I’m thankful for all of the wonderful food you’ve exposed me to, I’m thankful for the absolutely beautiful parks in the fall, I’m thankful for the local camaraderie, and I’m thankful to have grown up in such a diverse city.

It’s not you, it’s me. We must say our goodbyes for now, as I figure out who I am. I can’t guarantee I’ll come back the same person, but I promise I’ll visit often and think of you constantly while I’m at SB. Don’t ever change (well actually, I wouldn’t mind if your summers weren’t so freaking dry), but keep doing your thing. You’ll always be my hometown, and my heart will always be with you. I love you Sacramento, and I truly mean it. When we’re back together again, it will be at the right time, when we’re both ready.

Always and Forever,

Katerina

Sometimes I get all depressed because all of my friends have been gone for a good month now. Then I...

Fri, 14 Sep 2012 00:04:14 -0700

Sometimes I get all depressed because all of my friends have been gone for a good month now. Then I realize, good things come to those who wait. And an AMAZING thing is waiting for me.

I’m ready to twerk it and work it.

Video

Fri, 07 Sep 2012 00:06:55 -0700

My plans for the weekend. Getting ratchet, then getting cute, then getting started with cleaning up...

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 22:11:40 -0700

My plans for the weekend.

Getting ratchet, then getting cute, then getting started with cleaning up and packing my room.

Numb it, for 14 days more at least, bitch.

I’ve been feeling sorry for myself lately, and idgaf.

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 19:30:10 -0700

I’ve been feeling sorry for myself lately, and idgaf.

I hate the night, because that’s when I miss you the most. I miss how being with you was the...

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 00:02:51 -0700

I hate the night, because that’s when I miss you the most. I miss how being with you was the last thing I did before I went to bed. I miss talking to you about everything and nothing. I miss making fun of how white you are and I miss making you be the girl whenever we cuddled. I miss how you would annoy me. I miss how you could easily make me laugh. I miss how you could easily make me cry. I miss your nigga lips. I miss your perfect arms. I miss your stubby fingers, and I miss holding your hand. I miss driving around Elk Grove, only to end up back at my house. I miss watching Chopped with you until you had to go home. I miss how whenever you called me, you answered with “hello” and didn’t say anything afterwards. I miss answering the door and seeing you there. I miss having you make me CDs. I miss your “singing”. I miss your fake crying. I miss pinching your nose. I miss your beard! I miss your weird laugh. I miss our inside jokes. I miss getting boba with you. I miss trying new food with you. I miss getting mad at you for no reason. I miss how you would still stick around. I literally miss everything about you. I miss my best friend.

Holla at all the NorCal kids who are upset because we haven’t gotten our room assignments...

Tue, 28 Aug 2012 19:40:15 -0700

Holla at all the NorCal kids who are upset because we haven’t gotten our room assignments yet.

As much as I want to be in SB already, I’m going to miss all of the comforts of home. Lol, just kidding, going to college with my best friend is probably the best feeling ever. Especially since she’s off campus, so we won’t be the antisocial best friends.

But still, I WANT MY ROOM ASSIGNMENT!

Patience is a virtue. My time will come… IN FUCKING 26 DAYS!

Sun, 26 Aug 2012 23:40:44 -0700

Patience is a virtue. My time will come… IN FUCKING 26 DAYS!

A reflection of incoherence.

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 23:24:26 -0700

I feel like I’m in purgatory at the moment. I’m stuck between what was an amazing summer and what is to be an even more amazing opportunity of college.

Flashback to this exact moment last year. Completely different person with odd expectations. (Expectations followed through, and in the end is still the same person) I was happy in the idea of independence. I was in the fact that I had no obligations.

So back to the present, in this moment in time. I feel empty. But not so empty to connote any negativity towards my current lifestyle. I feel like a part of me is missing, and no it’s not Kyle. I’m not so naive. But I do miss him dearly, and he’s obviously a part of my life.

I feel stuck, even though the number of days lessen, and soon enough I will be forced to take this next step. I guess being alone, physically, has opened up this gaping hole of “what if’s”. Ridiculous “what ifs”.

What if I don’t make friends. What if my roommate is a horrid bitch. What if I’m the horrid bitch. What if I end up passed out in IV. What if I end up passed out in someone’s bed. What if I fail a class. What if I fail college. What if I hate my school. What if I fuck people I shouldn’t. What if people fuck me over.

But I guess I just have to deal with it.

Anticipation and loneliness always get the best of me.

Forever favorite moment of high school. The moment I hardly had...

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 22:55:28 -0700

Forever favorite moment of high school. The moment I hardly had a conversation with Jesse McCartney and this little girl was too darn cute and ruined our intimacy.

ermahgerd I’ll sort of kinda maybe a little bit miss high...

Tue, 21 Aug 2012 14:52:57 -0700

ermahgerd I’ll sort of kinda maybe a little bit miss high school.

Photo

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 20:34:39 -0700